i heart faces - Silhouette

This is my week's entry for the i heart faces photo challenge. This picture was taken at the Ontario Science Centre this summer. If you would like to participate in this weeks challenge check it out here

NOT a bellydancing queen.

(click on the picture to make it larger)

This picture takes us back to 2003... when I was able to take classes for fun that didn't include a diaper bag full of diapers, wipes and bum creams. Back in 2003 a group of girls and I decided to take bellydancing classes. They were fun, but I was no bellydancing queen. I'm probably one of the only people that can make the dance look awkward and NOT sexy at all. These pictures were taking at out recital...you can see me in the left picture at the far right. I don't look happy do I... must be because I HATE performing in front of people! I still enjoy watching bellydancing and sometimes I'll break out some of the moves for the girls... and some of the moves have even showed up in my Zumba class...but I don't think I'll be going back. Sometimes its best to leave a good thing alone. I'll leave the sexy bellydancing to others who are good at it, and I'll stick to my own dance recitals in my kitchen for the girls.

If you have a flashback friday come and join along. Post your link at Christopher and Tia by clicking on the link below.

Flashback Friday - Happy 28th Birthday Martin!

On August 3rd, 1982 something unexpected happened; my baby brother was born at just 24 weeks gestation. I'm not sure how it happened or where I was as I was only 6 years old and barely remember... but I do remember the next year and a half pretty well. Martin Franz Phillip Frei was born into this world too early, but we were so blessed to have had his company for a year and a half.

I could show you pictures of how my brothers skin was translucent or how he spent a lot of his life in an incubator, but out of respect for my mother and her disliking of airing personal stuff on the internet... I won't. Come over to my house for some coffee and cookies and I'll bring out the photos! What I will show you are a few pictures of us enjoying our time with my brother. The top picture is of my brother in hospital, I think he was around 8 or 10 months old. The middle picture is my sister and I with Martin at Christmas when he was 16 months old and the bottom picture was with us on his first birthday in Hospital with him (I'm on the left with the pig tails).

My brother spent most of his life in hospital, and when I think back to it I am amazed at how amazing my mother was. Since Martin was born so premature he had to be in a special hospital that was a hour away from us. My mother used to drive twice a day to pump (can you imagine how hard it is to get milk at only 24 weeks gestation? Its hard... very very hard) and visit Martin... could you imagine spending 4 hours a day driving... taking care of a sick child and still taking care of two girls at home that needed your attention; I couldn't imagine it. I have a hard enough time being at home with my two girls and giving them all the love they need. My mother truly is a hero in my eyes. There were times that my brother was at home. During this time, my mother had to have Martin hooked up to oxygen, she had nurses coming in to help with therapies. It was a difficult time, but my mom never seemed to mind (or she hid it well) and she always had time for us. She is amazing. I can remember my mother even coming on field trips with us and bringing my brother and his portable oxygen tank... she did so much while there were other parents with way less responsibility that did WAY less. People came in to clean our house, cut my mums hair and some friends brought groceries. And while I tell you about how hard it was... there were also a lot of great times. Times that I shared smiles and babbles with Martin.

I remember this day so clearly... on March 3rd 1984 I was playing at my friends house...my parents were visiting Martin and were late coming home... we had sensed something was wrong. Upon my parents picking us up, they took us home and gave us the news of the passing of Martin. They sat us down in the kitchen and told us that Martin had died. That it was his time, and he was now with God and the angels...somehow knowing that had made it better. My husband and I are not religious anymore, but having experienced a death while being a child, I am thankful that I believed God to be at our sides. It brought me peace and comfort. I remember the days that passed after that...seeing my mother in agony and pain... I hope I never have to experience that. The death of a child is possibly the hardest thing ever, no matter how long they have been with you. Mothers are strong and beautiful people...and I'm thankful I can still see mine any day I'd like.

As I sit here 28 years later... its still makes me teary eyed...I miss Martin so much. I day dream of how he might have turned out...how he would look...would we be close (I'd like to think so)... would my family still be together?...the possibilities are endless. I am a firm believer of everything happening for a reason, this is what keeps me going when bad things happen...I believe we learn from everything. I like to think I learned a lot from my brother and his life and the events that happened following his death.

So... Happy 28th Birthday Martin! We miss you and love you forever!

Love your sister,
Vanessa xo

i heart faces - Photo Challenge - Bundled up

This is my submission for this weeks photo challenge at i heart faces. Come and check out the other entries and submit one too if you have a photo.

Flashback Friday - Friends

I realize that I should be posting an older picture then this...but truth is... I'm a Libra and I don't like to hurt anyones feelings... and I don't want to pick a best friend. I've had a lot of my girlfriends as friends for a very long time. My two oldest friends are Rebecca and Krista... and they are both in this picture, so I'm happy :)

This picture was taken last year for my what is now a tradition... birthday walk. This will be the third year that I ask my friends for no gifts... just to join me in a birthday hike and then a pot luck dinner and drinks at my house. Having my birthday in October is wonderful for birthday hikes. The fall in Canada is beautiful... so many different colours and picture perfect moments.

So there we go... my flashback friday for this week... To all my best friends... I love you all and couldn't choose just one... so you all get a spot on my blog for this week.

If you have a Flashback Friday you would like to share. Please stop by Christopher and Tia's blog and submit your link.

Week 8 - “Hands-On Fun” Photo Challenge

This is my submission for this weeks photo challenge over at i heart faces. It is a picture of my youngest Charlotte Juniper when she was 5 months old. This weeks challenge is a hands theme. Head over to i heart faces and add your own photo, or check out all of the other lovely submissions.

Flashback Friday - Schmutzli ... I miss you.

This weeks Flashback Friday is pet themed... so I decided to go with my last pet we had. A black & white cat named Schmutzli. I loved Schmutzli a lot, but things with her didn't end well, and it still brings me to tears when I think about it. The relationship I had with Schmutzli was always a little off right from the beginning. I got her the same day I had to put my cat of 15 years down... that was the first thing I did wrong. I should have waited, I wasn't ready to get another cat, but my mom sort of talked me into it. I know she was just trying to help me because I was heartbroken...but I really wasn't ready and I should have listened to my heart. Schmutzli was born a wild cat (another mistake, I should have gotten a domestic cat) ... we found her outside of a restaurant my mom was working at. Schmutzli was skidderish from the beginning. The problems with her didn't start for about 4 or 5 months after we had her... what did she do? She Peed... she peed everywhere. To make a long long story short.. I put up with it for 4 years! I tried everything, different litter box techniques, homeopathic remedies... and YES I even tried a pet Psychic... and still get teased for that from this day. Finally right before our wedding I had had enough of being stressed ALL the time. It was literally effecting my health, and I decided to put her down. I tried to find her a good home... and decided not to take her to the shelter because I know they would have put her down anyways because of the peeing :( So one day I asked my husband to take her to the vet to put her down. I couldn't bring myself to bring her and still get tears thinking about it. I think it really scarred my husband too... I wonder if he will ever forgive me? We decided to not have any pets after Schmutzli... It really really hurt us to have to put her down. I think we are afraid we'll have to do it again... and quite frankly, we aren't ready to do that any time soon. Schmutzli is now resting in a plot out on my dad's farm... at least I can visit her whenever I want.

Rest well my Sweet Schmutzli!



If you have an old pet themed Flashback Friday... visit Christopher and Tia and add your link... or read some other blog posts.